|Characters||Dick Whittington |
Thomas, his cat
Alice Fitzwarren, daughter of the Alderman
Idle Jack, apprentice to the Alderman
Sailor Sam, able seaman
Captain Sid Scuppers, of the Saucy Seagull
Polly, maid to the Alderman
Dame Tilly Tickle, cook to the Alderman
Weary Willie & Tired Tim, travellers of the road
Empress of the Islands
Abdul, Grand Vizier to the Empress
Act I: Prologue (Tab scene)
|Fairy Queen||Christmas is a magic time|
Of love and feast and pantomime.
Our story now we will unfold,
Long, long ago, in days of old
A fortune-seeking lad, we're told
Thought London's streets were paved with gold.
He travels far with Tom, his cat
But lurking near we find King Rat
Who would destroy what's good and right,
So I shall try with all my might
To stop his wickedness and spite
So happiness may reign tonight. (exit Fairy Queen)
|King Rat||Ha! Ha! You'll see, I'll spoil your fun,|
This pantomime has just begun -
Happiness shall flee away
All your plans shall go astray!
I shall do my evil deed -
Beware my friends, take heed, take heed (exit King Rat)
Scene 1 Curtain up, outside Alderman Fitzwarren's shop, stocks just off-centre, chorus on, noise, bustle etc.
Girl and Chorus
|Come everyone, it's time for rejoicing and dancing and I've got those...|
Dancing feet, I've got those dancing feet,
Dance. At end of the dance, the Alderman enters and gets caught up in the revelry.
|Alderman||Upon my word, such merry making, singing and dancing and many a pretty girl to kiss, eh?|
Reprise song "Dancing Feet". Chorus exit
|Alderman||Phew! I'm a bit old for that sort of thing, it makes me out of breath just watching it! Now, I must think of something to give my daughter, Alice, for her birthday tomorrow. Shall I get her... (enter Idle Jack) Hello, young Jack, not joining in the fun?|
|Jack||No, Master Fitzwarren, I've got my eyes on a girl, but she --|
|Alderman||Yes, yes, most young men are the same, however, I must think of a present for my daughter, Alice, for her birthday tomorrow.|
|Jack||Ah, yes, Alice -- what about some jewellery? I could try the docks and the market where I have many friends. All out of sight and sound of the Excise man, of course! What do you say to that?|
|Alderman||Its a deal, if its the right kind of thing, but keep it dark! (he makes to go)|
|Jack||Hey, don't forget the lolly!|
|Alderman||Lolly? Oh, yes, lolly, I'd better get it. (exit Alderman)|
|Jack||I'll keep it dark while it suits me, it's not the first time I've done a deal with Master Fitzwarren, a few more and then I'll topple his high and mightiness from his perch and Alice, my lovely Alice will be mine. (he turns to go as Polly enters)|
|Polly||(eagerly) All alone, I see, why don't we find the others and have some fun?|
|Jack||(offhand) Mmm, well, at the moment I've got a bit of business to see to.|
|Polly||Oh, ho, my pretty lad, more trips to the docks on a dark night? (sadly) Is she pretty?|
|Jack||You're wrong there, Polly, and I will join you for a while. There's something in the air tonight...|
|Jack||Now, now, we don't want any of that|
|Polly||Oh, but we do, at least I do! Come on, unbend, you're as stiff and starchy as Dame Tilly Tickle's petticoat.|
|Jack||(going off with Polly) I really don't know anything about Tilly Tickle's petticoats.|
Enter Weary Willie and Tired Tim. They yawn.
|Tim||London. I wonder what we can scrounge here?|
|Willie||Anything except work, we don't want to be mixed up in that lark, but we might pick up something on the side.|
|Tim||(yawning) On the side of what?|
|Willie||Be careful, Tim, you may be alive!|
Enter Alderman, he carries a bag of gold.
|Willie||Oh, no, take a dekko at this nut, we might be cracking something.|
|Tim & Willie||(bowing low) Good morning, My Lord.|
|Alderman||Bless my whiskers, what a dirty looking pair of ruffians, go away, we've enough rubbish around here without you dropping in. A good wash and some honest work (Tim & Willie shudder) would do you good.|
|Tim & Willie||Work!|
|Willie||Oh, oh, I feel bad, it's me blood pressure. Work! Lord help us, whatever other funny suggestions have you got?|
|Tim & Willie||Work! (Tim nods off)|
|Alderman||You both look like something put out for salvage, recycling's what you need, what do you do with your miserable selves?|
|Willie||We don't like your remarks, Sir, but I suppose you could say we were Agents.|
|Alderman||Hmm, it smells, you sme-- (Willie kicks him on the shin) Oh, oooh, (he hops about holding leg, drops money bag which is picked up by Willie) Give that back at once, or I'll have you put in the stocks here.|
|Willie||Stocks? Interesting little gadget, show us how it works.|
Business: all get locked in stocks.
|Alderman||Fools! Now we can't get out, soon we shall be the target for all and sundry. And me an Alderman!|
|Willie||You got us in, you get us out.|
|Tim||(yawning) It's nice and peaceful in here, just sitting... (a cabbage hits him)|
|Alderman||That's what I mean. (Cabbage hits Alderman)|
Enter Dame, she does not see who is in the stocks.
|Dame||Hello, again, I've got myself all in a twist. (lifts skirt to disclose striped socks, twisted) I don't find that young minx Polly anywhere - off with the lads again, I shouldn't wonder. (She throws a few more items at stocks from her basket and doubles up with laughter and is promptly knocked down by Jack who enters backwards, waving farewell to offstage.)|
|Jack||Steady on, here, ups-a-daisy. Hey! That's Alderman Fitzwarren in the stocks!|
|Dame||So it is, I wonder how he got in? (she absently lobs another missile)|
|Alderman||Just wait until I get out! We'll see what the Law Officers have to say!|
|Dame||Now, now, promise to be a good boy and we'll let you out.|
|Alderman||All right, but make it snappy: if the Guild gets to hear of this I'll be the laughing stock of the town. (Alderman is released, he moves off with Dame and Jack)|
|Tim & Willie||Here, what about us?|
|Alderman||There's a little matter of that bag you stole, hand it back and I'll set you free at once.|
|Willie||OK: take it. (Alderman takes bad and tickles Willie - business of Dame getting in stocks, more as she is released)|
|Alderman||Be off with you, you rascals, if I clap eyes on you again I'll have you sent to jail.|
|Dame||On your way, boys, on you way. (She picks up cabbage and helped by Jack pelts them as they go off)|
|Alderman||(to Dame) Now, off you go, back to your work. (Dame exits)|
(to Jack) Here's the money to use, so get cracking!
|Jack||Right! I'm off to you know where to see what I can do about you know what, for you know who!|
|Alderman||Good, don't spend all the money, I must go to find my daughter. (Alderman and Jack exit in opposite directions. Enter Cat who knocks at door, Dame comes out, cat mimes hunger and rubs against Dame's legs.)|
|Dame||Hello, puss, you're hungry, but you can't come in here! (She shoos him away, looks down and sees mouse, she screams! Cat picks up mouse by the tail and chases Dame off. Cat comes back and goes into house, reappears carrying a pie. Enter Dick.)|
|Dick||Thomas! I see you've found something for supper, clever puss. (he sits) Come here, Tom, we'll rest awhile, we've travelled many miles today and I'm so tired. They say London's streets are paved with gold - if that is true, we'll make our fortune. (Dick closes eyes. Enter Fairy Queen, who sings.)|
|Fairy Queen||Dream on sweet lad, your slumber be sweet,|
Fortune be yours, though we never meet,
I'll watch over you and near you I'll bide.
Though ill-luck befall you, I'll turn it aside,
Though ill-luck befall you, I'll turn it aside. (exit Fairy Queen)
|Dick||(half awake) I must be dreaming, why did I wake?|
A lady so lovely a promise did make.
The future's before me, I know I'll win through.
A dream so enchanting can only come true,
(sleepily) A dream so enchanting can only come true.
Dick and cat sleep. Enter Alderman and Alice.
|Alice||It will soon be my birthday, father. Shall we give a party?|
|Alderman||I hope to have a nice surprise for you my dear, but come, it's getting late. (they move to go into the house and see Dick and Thomas)|
|Alice||Look, father, who is this? (Cat gets up and comes to Alice) What a lovely cat. (she strokes Thomas) Oh, Puss, who is this young man? (she kneels beside Dick) He's sleeping so soundly, he must be exhausted.|
|Alderman||I expect he's just another vagrant with no money for food and lodging|
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Words (c) Harlequins 1990-1999.